WARNING: This Yoghurt Is Alive — And It Does Not Taste Sweet
⚠ Read this before you order
This is not like other coconut yoghurts. It's tart. Tangy. Properly sour. It sometimes fizzes when you open the jar.
If you're expecting the sweet, gum-thickened stuff from the supermarket fridge, stop here.
Still reading? You're exactly who we make it for.
First, a dare
Go get the coconut yoghurt currently in your fridge and read its ingredients. We'll wait.
Whatever you found on that label, here is our entire list: organic coconut milk and agar agar — a flavourless seaweed that's expensive and genuinely difficult to work with, chosen for one reason: it's an ideal growing medium for live cultures.
No added sugar. No gums, no starches, no flavours, no dairy. Nothing to hide behind.
Nine strains, wild and alive
Into that two-ingredient base goes a 9-strain wild live culture starter:
- Saccharomyces boulardii — a hardy probiotic yeast
- Lactobacillus species — including plantarum, rhamnosus, gasseri and salivarius
- Bifidobacterium species — including infantis, bifidum, longum and lactis
Every small batch is slow-cultured until probiotic activity peaks. Not until it sets. Not until a schedule says stop.
That tartness you taste? That's the culture, working. Sugar is what dead yoghurt wears to the funeral.
How to read a living jar
- Tart, tangy, sour — Greek-style thick, unsweetened, unapologetic
- Fizz and bubbles — normal signs of live culture
- Separation — also normal; it's alive, not laminated
One organic retailer put it best: "This tart little number is the best dairy free yoghurt we've tasted and makes us feel so alive!" Customers are blunter: "POWERFUL." "Best ever." "Only one I can eat."
Yes, the kilo jar is $75.95. Here's the maths.
Start the way we suggest — one tablespoon a day, building up as your digestive system demands — and the 1kg jar lasts well over a month: roughly $1.50 a day. At our suggested rhythm of about 2kg a month, it's around $5 a day — less than the takeaway kombucha it replaces. (The devoted get through more than a kilo a week. They stopped doing the maths.)
Where the money goes: nine strains of wild live cultures, agar agar done the hard way, slow fermentation on the culture's timetable, and a glass jar — not plastic.
Want a lower-risk first taste? There's a 500g jar at $49.95 — though gram for gram, the kilo jar is about 24% better value.
Do NOT buy this jar if…
- You want dessert. (We also make coconut ice cream. Buy that.)
- You think fizz means something's wrong.
DO buy it if kombucha, kraut and kefir live in your fridge — and you want yoghurt that's cultured the way they are.
Small batches. They sell out.
That's not a countdown timer — it's arithmetic. Slow-cultured batches can't be rushed, and when one's gone, it's gone until the next culture is ready.
You've been warned.